Headed that way!
“You’re over this country aren’t you?!” I was taken back a little when Chris, a guy from our Hostel, asked me this question as we were walking to lunch. Sometimes we do things in our unconscious that radiates expressions and feelings from ourselves that we aren’t aware of. Somehow my behavior was telling my environment that I wasn’t enjoying Egypt which made me ask myself if I actually was.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s awesome to be able to say that I was here and to have pictures of me standing in front of the pyramids, sphinx, etc etc but honestly I am beginning to realize that yes, I am over this country. This culture plays a game called “lets lie to you to get you to spend money!” I understand. Every culture does it. Buy the next Ford it’s the best on the market, wear these shoes and you’ll be cool, buy this cologne and all the women will want you, but that’s not what this culture does.
Wish you were here!
“How much would you pay for a camel ride Abraham?!” My driver looks a little puzzled why I am asking since I just told him I am not interested in a horse or camel ride what so ever! Of course I already know the answer to this question and this is the beginning of a game I like to play. I ask people questions. Questions I already know the answer to just so I can gauge and read their reaction and to see if they are going to lie to me. “200 pounds” he replies. LIAR! “So if YOU, Abraham, if YOU were going to ride a camel you’d pay 200 pounds?” He shakes his head up and down in confirmation. LIAR AGAIN!
I try to give my victims multiple chances to get out of their lies but usually they just pile higher. “and what about a head dress… the red one. If you wanted one how much would YOU pay for it?” He cocks his head to the side as he negotiates with himself. “25-30 pounds.” LIAR AGAIN! Egyptians are known for the fact that their prices are inflated and that the name of the game is haggling but WHY is my driver, who doesn’t sell camel rides or head dresses lie to me about the price?!
It’s actually very simple to understand. If he takes me to a camel guy and I pay a specific price he gets a kick back. If he inflates all the prices to me and I think that an economically good price based off of his information then I am more likely to pay HIM more as well. Sad part is that I have just finished telling him that I will not pay for any of the crap scams in this country again. It’s already happened to me once and I’m on the defensive right now.
This police officer demanded that we take a picture with him… and then he asked for money in which I replied-“AREN’T YOU THE POLICE AND YOU’RE ASKING FOR MONEY?!” in which he told us to leave and said, “no money goodbye!” ya i may be a ‘tourist’ but I’ve been around the block a time or two!
Which is why I am completely offended when he pulls up to an art store and tells us all to get out and to go look inside. Here we go again. I play along with it. As soon as we walk in there’s a man who is trying to give us a history lesson on how they make paper. I am not interested and I let him know. He asks for a few minutes of my time and as we are gathered around the table already I realize that he’s sucked us in. I immediately look over at Ericka, “tu hablas Española?!” She looks at me and smiles… “Si yo hablo Española!” I look back at the man who is trying to sell us crap and I point at him and ask, “tu hablas espanola?!” he looks at me and says, “I speak English and French… which one do you prefer?” I cock an eye at him and say, “Nosotros hoblamos espanola!”
His lips tighten… he takes a deep breath. “you are a smart man!” I smile at him… “yes I am and I already know how paper is made. Thank you!” I beging to walk out of the building and our driver meets us again and asks us to please listen to what the man has to say. I am offended once again as I have already told our driver that I am not interested in any of this. I do understand that the driver wants his kick back but I am not having any of it. We begin to drive down the road in an atmosphere of tension. Ericka and I speak Spanish to each other in the back seat. I wish I was fluent so I could carry on an actual conversation because I am enjoying the fact that my driver has no idea what we are saying. He has been on the phone trying to contact places to rip us off for the last 15 minutes and he has been speaking in Arabic. We all know what’s going on and we’re not stupid.
Camels…
There is a police check point ahead and our driver gets stopped. He tries to bribe the police officer with 20 pounds and I’m not sure why. The officer pulls out the money, holds it high, shakes his head and says something in Arabic in which I am pretty sure translated to, “during Ramadan?!” and he escorts our driver to the table in the shade where he receives a 50 pound ticket. “He’s going to try and make us pay for his stupid ticket!” I notify the rest of the vehicle who already knows that’s is what’s about to happen.
Abraham slides back into the car and we begin driving. Five minutes go by and he hasn’t said anything. He’s thinking of his delivery. Here it comes… “was I speeding?!” I laugh inside. “I don’t know Abraham. I don’t know the speed limit here.” He quickly replies, “it’s 25 kilometers an hour” LIAR! I want to yell! It’s at least 60 KPH here as we are on a 4 lane highway. “They said I was speeding!” LIAR AGAIN! There was no radar lights, guns, or cameras! He got caught trying to bribe the cop. An action which he probably knew would happen on purpose so that he could pay a ticket so that we would pay him more. “Just take us to the hotel.” I say in a firm voice.
They’re not as big as I thought they’d be…
The car comes to a stop in front of our building and we get out and begin to walk away. We have already paid for the trip and we don’t need to pay more. I don’t want to tip a guy who has lied to me all day long. “excuse me… nothing for me?! I drive you all day” ugh… I didn’t think we were going to get out of that. “we’ve already paid for the trip through Dina.” I can’t believe he thinks we’re this stupid! I’ve already told him I’ve been to several countries. “yes but dina pays the company and not me!” LIAR AGAIN! He doesn’t work for a “company” and I’ve already asked him leading questions at the beginning of the trip to confirm this.
I turn and look at Ericka…. “do we have anything for the driver?” Chris, the guy from the hostel, is wondering exactly how I am going to handle this also. I like Chris, he’s from New Zealand and he’s super laid back. The type of guy that I can be around, seeing that I am super tense. Ericka isn’t sure if I am asking a serious question of if I am wanting her to reply with a no. I reach into her bag, pull out her wallet, grab 20 pounds (almost 3 dollars)… I walk over to Abraham hand it to him, look into his eyes with an expression of annoyance and say……“Next time don’t speed Abraham!”